Why I Let My Child Make Mistakes
One of the best parts of parenting is having the opportunity to watch your child learn and grow. You get to celebrate such milestones as their first tooth, first word, and first steps. As your child gets older, you get to experience their wonderful imaginations as they pretend that they’re battling dragons or sailing on a ship. It’s easy to let your child take the initiative and do their own thing when there’s a positive outcome, but what do you do when your child makes a mistake?
As much as you want to protect your child from the mistakes they might make, you need to take a step back and allow your children to make their own decisions, even if it’s the wrong one. As parents it is our responsibility to protect our children from harm, but that doesn’t mean shielding them from the possibility of defeat.
So yes I do and will let my child make mistakes from choosing the wrong friend to choosing to drop an interest they may regret later. It is all part of helping them develop emotional intelligence and valuable life skills such as the following:
They’ll Become More Independent
If you swoop in every time you see your child about to do something wrong, then your child will begin to look to you all the time, growing dependent on your decisions. However, when you allow your child makes their own mistakes, you’re encouraging them to be independent. Making their own decisions, even if it’s not the right one, helps your child learn what they want and how to make it happen.
Their Self-Esteem Will Grow
Although it might not seem like it, allowing your child to make mistakes will actually help them develop their self-esteem. When you call all of the shots, or respond overly negatively to their mistakes, your child will unconsciously start to doubt their own abilities, causing them to have lower self-esteem. By allowing them to make their own decisions, even if it results in a mistake, your child will know that they are capable. This will help develop their self-esteem.
Next Time Will Be Better
When letting your child make mistakes, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that next time will be better. Each time your child makes a mistake, they learn something from it. This means that the next time they attempt the same thing, they should be able to do it better, eventually making fewer and fewer mistakes.
Making mistakes isn’t the end of the world for your child. Mistakes are actually an important part of your child’s growth and development.
Do you let your child make mistakes? Share some of your thoughts and advice.
When my boy was younger, I helped him a little too much….I know this now lol.
Nowadays, with my girl….I’ve learned to step back a bit and let her do more for herself. Plus she’s a lot more independent and feisty, she insists on doing things for herself. And she’s pretty vocal about that lol.
I think allowing them to make mistakes is good, we learn from the mistakes we make. Making choices, even if they are mistakes are a part of becoming independent.
Learning from your own mistakes is good,it says with you
I think it’s a good idea, but I haven’t had the chance to try it out yet, as she is still too young.
My parents raised me with the same philosophy. They said I was just too stubborn to learn from advice and that I learned best after making mistakes. I am completely a helicopter mom…although I am a lot better now. I agree that some mistakes will help them learn better and be more independant. I think it depends on your child and how they learn best.
I could not agree more with everything in this post, letting them make choices is the key to growing up and developing. Great post.
Love this post… this is something every parent should understand before they even have children.
As they get older, make poorer decisions, very bad choices, most times all we can do is stand back and be ready to catch.
This couldn’t be more fitting then it is with teenagers. Its much easier to start while they are young, allowing them, teaching them ‘how’ to make the appropriate decision.. then combat it at 12 or 13.. for 5-6 years.
Making mistakes is good for them, they need to learn not everything is perfect and to learn from their mistakes!
I find learning from mistakes made is the best way to learn
I totally agree, but I k now I have to work on putting it into practice more. My mother probably did way too much for me when I was younger and I think that really hindered me a a young adult (though it felt great at the time). I love the Ann Landers quote. Definitely a good one to remember.
My children are adults now. If they ask me for advice, I try to give them my best thoughts on the subject. However, it is their life and they must learn how to deal with it.
My Mother-in-law told me once that ‘We only learn from our mistakes ‘ and I realize more and more how right she was. I have always learned more from my mistakes-at least I think I have and I have tried to profit from them.
I completely agree with this, especially the point about self-esteem.
I think I did let them make their own decisions. They are all adults now and are very independent. As long as a decision does not put their life in peril, I believe they were given independence. I know that I learned more from my own mistakes than from doing well. I still make mistakes but that is part of maturing as a person.