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How to Easily Handle Backtalk from your Kids

 How to Easily Handle “Backtalk” from your Kids with these simple parenting tips.

Are you having trouble with kids who backtalk? It can be frustrating when your child talks back to you. No matter how old they are, it’s important that you handle backtalk right away so that your children learn that backtalk is inappropriate. Here are a few ways you can handle backtalk from your kids.


Understand Why They Do It

The first step to handling your child’s backtalk is to understand why they’re doing it. Are they feeling frustrated? Are they hungry? Did they hear someone else, like a friend or sibling, do the same thing? Once you know the reason behind your child’s backtalk, you can come up with a strategy to help eliminate it!

Generally backtalk is a response to a lack of power or control over their lives so the best way to prevent backtalk is to give your kids a little choice in their lives.  The ability to pick out their own clothes is simple but could make a huge different to your child.  Work to reduce the amount you find yourself bossing your kids around and you will likely see a reduction in backtalk too!

Try to Talk It Out

If backtalk is becoming a problem in your household, don’t be afraid to sit down and talk it out with your kids. Let them know your expectations for them, including how they should talk, and let them know why this is important. You might even want to go over what backtalk is so that they’re no confusion on the topic.  Do this at a time when everyone is calm and communicating well, not during a backtalk incident.

Put Consequences in Place

If your child continues to backtalk you, don’t be afraid to put consequences in place. These consequences can be anything, but if your goal is to eliminate backtalk, you might want to set some consequences that will motivate them to listen. Take away electronics or make them do extra chores. Let them know that they’ll earn more chores if they backtalk again, which should help motivate them to speak respectfully.

Give Them Space

If your kids are getting older, than they might feel the need to backtalk in order to assert their independence or due to the fact that their hormones are not in control. Although backtalk is unacceptable at any age, you might want to give your child some space for them to cool down and get their emotions under control. By giving your child space, you’ll be able to approach the situation calmly and hopefully your child will be ready to talk it out.

Don’t Back Talk Back

Do not feel like you need to explain your decisions when your child talks back to you.  The best response to backtalk is silence and the very worst is arguing back.  You are the parent, so you need to remain calm and in charge.  Starve the situation by not feeding it and avoid the power struggle.


Do your kids backtalk? How do you handle backtalk in your home?




Friday 16th of June 2017

Great advice. I wish all parents would teach this to their kids before they go to school. As a teacher of teens, I experience a little more backtalk than is needed. I know it is because they are upset with someone else, or themselves for poor choices. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with others.

Elva Roberts

Saturday 3rd of December 2016

I like all your tips. I did not have anything serious in backtalk. I had family councils where all the children could give their opinion and tell how they feel about anything. They could come to me at any time and talk to me about anything. I think this helped greatly in our relatiionships. I learned about Family Councils from a psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Haim Ginott.

Leigh Brooke

Monday 23rd of November 2020

That is amazing that you had this kind of relationship with your kids. I think that kids need to know that they can express their feelings to their parents and be able to talk to them, otherwise that will keep things from their parents and act out even more. Thank you for this!!

Neng dhira

Wednesday 2nd of November 2016

Good tips, thanks


Monday 4th of April 2016

thank you for the tips.

kathy downey

Friday 20th of November 2015

This is a great post and it happens to the best of us.