5 Funny Things I Didn’t Know About Babies

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Since I’ve had Keira I’ve had plenty of moments where I realised that before I was a parent I had some really strange and funny ideas about babies and being a mom.

1)   I thought diapers were complicated and would be absolutely disgusting to change. 

I was wrong. Diapers are pretty simple… putting them on a writhing newborn or an infant trying to eat their toes is not. I also found they only get really disgusting once you start weaning on to proper food.  Except for the Poonami’s.  Oh the horror of Poo everywhere. 

2)   I thought all babies started sleeping through the night in a week or two.  

I think my Other Half put it best when he stated “I didn’t know it was going to be like this!” 

3)   I thought it would be so easy to lose the Mommy tummy.   

Breastfeeding takes care of that completely right?  Um no and where is my Muumuu? 

4)   I thought I would have the time to put together a lovely scrapbook for her.

Ahahaha! Perhaps at some point between the screaming, feeding, pooping, spitting up and playing I can make the time to sit down and cut and paste.  I’m guessing that project will be complete when I’m around the age of 82.

5)   I thought giving babies a pacifier was lazy parenting. 

You’ll understand the humour when you come to the realisation that you have become a human pacifier.

 What are some things you thought before you became a parent?

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10 Comments

  1. haha these are all true and I thought I could buy a book and the instructions would all be there….oh and apparently when people have parenting advice all common courtesy flies out the window

  2. I personally never saw a problem with giving a child a pacifier. I guess only the people that have really never had kids or spent any time around them would see that as lazy parenting. I see that you have obviously changed your ways but that statement kind of irked me.

    1. These are all things I thought before I was a parent … and therefore pretty clueless about babies and parenting in general. That is why it is funny.

  3. Sometimes we still struggle with sleeping through the nights at the ages of 14-9-6. I still feel badly about not having baby books for the kid. The first baby has a partial book, the second has a book with nothing in it and the third doesn’t even have a book.

  4. I love reading these! My oldest has just started college and my youngest just turned 3… so it is always fun to remember. My 5 are well past all of those stages. 🙂

  5. Yes. Yes. And more Yes. I remember right before my daughter was born, I was starting to get nervous about how much work having a baby would be. I was picturing that all the baby care duties would be constantly interrupting me from whatever I was doing. Little did I realize that the babies duties ARE what you do. Period.

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