31 Things to NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman

What is it about a baby bump that inspires thoughtless comments? Here are 31 things to NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman, because pregnancy is hard enough.

What is it about a baby bump that inspires thoughtless comments? Here are 31 things to NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman, because pregnancy is hard enough.
Irina Ippolitova | Shutterstock.com

Being pregnant is one of the most magical experiences of your life! However, it can, also, be the biggest emotional roller coaster a woman will ever have to experience. Hello, hormones!

Until you fully experience all the ups and downs of pregnancy, it’s always a good idea to keep your mouth closed, and even if you have experienced it, just keep in mind that all pregnancies are different.

 

pregnant-belly

 

In essence whenever around a pregnant woman, it is safer to just keep your mouth closed. However, if you must speak, here are 31 things to NEVER say to a pregnant woman:

1.    Pregnancy is NOT a disability.

Some women actually do have a disability caused by…. you guessed it, PREGNANCY!

What to say instead: Do you need help with that?

2.    How much weight have you gained?

When a woman is eating for two, she is going to get bigger. That is how pregnancy works and basically all you need to know. She is likely already frustrated with her growing body and reminder her of that is not helpful.

What to say instead: You look fabulous!

3.    Should you be eating that?

When a pregnant woman craves something, she is going to get it one way or another. Never ask her if she should eat something. You know. Unless she is eating dirt.

What to say instead: Wow, that looks delicious!

4.    Are you prepared to have a baby?

No matter how many books you read, or how “ready” you think you are, NO one is ever fully prepared for a new baby!

What to say instead: Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be so excited.

5.    You look so cute! Let me rub your tummy like a dog.

Okay, maybe you don’t actually say that last part, but inevitably you start rubbing the baby bump. Personal space people, seriously; no one wants their pregnant bump rubbed, especially not by strangers or acquaintances! The presence of a foetus does not make it Ok to invade a woman’s personal space.

What to say instead: You look fabulous! (and keep your hands off!)

6.    I never got stretch marks. Yours look like a roadmap.

Thanks, I am so glad your perfect little body maintained it’s perfect appearance. Way to make her feel good about herself during a time when many women (wrongly!) feel less than attractive.

What to say instead: You look fabulous!

7.    You must be due any day now!/Haven’t you had that baby YET?

Sure, if by any day you mean two long months from now, then sure, any day now. People seriously have no clue what a pregnant woman is supposed to look like at various stages, and likely, neither do you!

What to say instead:  How are you feeling?

8.    Are you going to keep it?

Really, if I wasn’t going to keep it, would I be telling you about it?

What to say instead: Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be so excited.

9.    Do you know what it is?

IT?! It is an alien from outer space that is going to claw its way out of my belly. Clearly.

What to say instead: Are you going to find out the sex of the baby before the birth or leave it as a surprise?

10.  You should/Shouldn’t be doing that!

Are you my doctor? What? No? Keep your opinions to yourself then.

What to say instead: Nothing.

11.    You have a lot of kids already. You’re crazy. 

Maybe she loves kids, has a plan, or wanted more. Are her kids taken care of, clothed, fed and loved? Yes? Don’t judge.

What to say instead: Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be so excited.

12.    This is the most sleep you will get for a while, so enjoy it.

Really? An exhausted, already sleep deprived pregnant woman does not want to know that this is the most sleep she will get for awhile to come.

What to say instead: How are you feeling?

13.    You better enjoy your life while you still can.

Um no. The story might change, but it just as sweet, if not more so than before.  She’s likely acutely aware that her life is about to drastically change and doesn’t need you to tell her that she’ll never enjoy a minute alone ever again.

What to say instead: Parenting is full of ups and downs but it’s so worth it!

14.    Are you sure you aren’t having twins? You’re huge!

Every pregnant woman is huge and I feel like people tend to forget what a pregnant body looks like.

What to say instead: You look fabulous!

15.    It’s not that bad! Other animals carry their young much longer.

Thanks, I don’t care how long an animal is pregnant. I want this baby out, and now!

What to say instead: I am sorry you are so uncomfortable, is there anything I can do to help?

16.    Wow! You are so small.

Whether a woman gains a lot of weight while pregnant or barely looks pregnant at all, it’s all normal. Everyone is different and every pregnancy is different.

What to say instead: You look fabulous!

17.    When I was pregnant…

Guess what? She doesn’t care when you were pregnant because she is pregnant and this is HER experience. Just stop right there.

What to say instead: How are you feeling?

18.   Was it planned/Were you trying?

What is it about pregnancy that makes other people feel like social norms can be thrown out the window. Is it normal for you to enquire about someone elses personal and sexual life? No? So don’t go there. Adults generally understand where babies come from. Move along.

What to say instead: Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be so excited.

19.    When you look from the back you can’t even tell your pregnant.

Yes, that is because the baby isn’t in the woman’s back. The baby is in the front. Nice observation though, Sherlock.

What to say instead: You look fabulous!

20.    Why are you crying?

She is crying because she is an emotional rollercoaster fuelled by an insane amount of hormones. Don’t ask, just comfort.

What to say instead:  Nothing. A hug will say it all.

21.    This pregnancy is just as hard on me.

Really? Because you are carrying 30 additional pounds in your abdomen and waddling around like a duck? This is basically sure to end in a fight guys, so don’t go there. Also comparing bowel movements to labour pains when the time comes is also out. Keep that in mind.

What to say instead: How can I make things easier for you?

22.    How are you going to get rid of the weight once the baby is born?

Let’s focus on one thing at a time here. No one thinks that far in advance.

What to say instead: You look fabulous!

23.    It’s just your hormones talking right now.

Just because a woman is emotional doesn’t mean it’s always her hormones talking. She still has REAL emotions and feelings.

What to say instead: Validate her feelings or reassure her.

24.    Are you going to have more after this?

Is that a real question? Seriously, who knows the answer to that.

What to say instead: Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be so excited.

25.    Why are you so tired all the time?

Oh, I don’t know, I am only building a human being inside my body. Why do you think?

What to say instead: What can I do to help you relax more?

26.    I hope the baby comes out normal. 

Does this really need an explanation?

What to say instead: Congratulations, I can’t wait to meet baby!

27.    Are you going to have a natural birth?

What other way is there to give birth?

What to say instead: Are you taking post-partum classes?

 

28.    Do you know who the father is?

This is just rude and inappropriate. First, it’s none of your business! Second, that is clearly a passive aggressive way of telling her you think she is a slut.

What to say instead: Nothing.

 

29.    What do you want to have?

I want to have a baby; what do you want to have?

What to say instead: Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be so excited.

 

30.    Ever since you have been pregnant, we haven’t been intimate.

This is to the father’s to be. Don’t pressure your woman for sex if she clearly has no energy or desire for it! Don’t EVER! Let it go….let it go.

What to say instead: I love you so much, you are beautiful.

 

31.   Have you picked a name yet?

Picking a name is hard enough without unwanted and unasked for advice from others, and even enquiring about it can open a can of worms you may not be prepared for.

What to say instead: Are you having fun picking out a name?

 

pregnant 

 

What annoying things have people said to you when you were pregnant? Share your stories in the comments below!

 

5 thoughts on “31 Things to NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman

  1. Omg! #5 was the most annoying to me. Everywhere I went someone just wanted to rub my belly as if I was some kind of good luck charm and making me feel so awkward at the same time. I have a friend and during my pregnancy with my little girl, my goofy friend didn’t know how many time she got so close to being belted for constantly touching my stomach.

  2. My friend and i were talking about this post last night she is due in 2 weeks and like the above comment she hates #5

  3. The line I got but didn’t appreciate was You must be due any day now! from 6 months onward. Way to make a woman feel fat.

  4. I find it hard to believe that people can be so insensitive. Of course, I had my pregnancies many years ago, and I think it was a more polite time. I didn’t get asked any of those questions, as far as I can remember. A good retort could be: “And why are you asking me that?” with a severe look old disgust.0

  5. I am currently only 14 weeks along and already so many embarassing, insensitive, and rude remarks. My favorite: “Your ankles are so swollen…but they’ cute though”…ummm seriously? My ankles aren’t even swollen and why would that kind of discomfort be “cute” anyways? What? And of course all of the repetitive questions and unwanted (bad) advice from practical strangers is lovely.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.