Dear Drunk Driver,
We don’t know each other. We have never met. Yet you have affected my life in ways you can’t imagine.
It was over 30 years now that you veered out of your lane and drove head on into my fathers car. My Parents were getting married you know and it was supposed to have been a lovely day spent with my Grandparents out to buy a wedding gift in a small town. They were on their way home when it happened. When their lives were changed forever.
Despite seat belt laws not being what they are today, everyone in the car was wearing a seatbelt. Never-the-less my Grandmothers belt snapped and she was thrown out of the car on impact and died instantly. She never had a chance. My mothers back was broken and she was in hospital for a long time after recovering. She never got to say goodbye to her mother.
I grew up never knowing my Grandmother, but she was always a huge part of our lives. My mother always made sure to tell us children about her. I was given her name as my own middle name. I’ve always grieved for her, despite never having met her.
You also broke my beloved Grandfathers heart. I will never forget hearing him talk about how he wanted to kill himself after it happened. How he blamed God for taking his Wife away. The mother of his 3 children. How he eventually found God again and forgave you. He has since passed on himself and I hope he is now with my Grandmother again.
This year I became a mother myself and during my pregnancy I constantly thought about how my mother must have felt carrying me without having her mother there. I can’t imagine motherhood without my mom. I can’t imagine what it must have been like, especially in those early days of motherhood or throughout my pregnancy to not have someone to call up anytime with your worries. To not have someone there even more proud of your baby than yourself. To know that your mother would have been so happy over this new little life.
Motherhood has brought me a deeper appreciation for everything my mother must have felt and gone through. Something I don’t think I would have ever understood without becoming a mother myself. She is such a strong woman as are all women going through motherhood without their own mothers.
It is not fair that you walked away with barely a slap on the wrist while all our lives were so deeply changed but that is a story told far too often.